YudelLine

by Andrew Silow-Carroll

Hero worship

Maybe you could use a laugh during these grim days -- my column suggests the superheroes we need for today's Jews:

Rhoda Dendron

Rhoda Daniels graduated in the top five percent at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work, but after 10 years as a Jewish communal worker, she fears she will never be considered for an executive position. Seeking revenge and advancement for Jewish women professionals everywhere, she builds a secret crystal lair, known as the “Glass Ceiling,” and begins to issue a series of anonymous e-mails and class action lawsuits.

The Matchmaker

Born on a planet where eligible Jewish women outnumber single Jewish men by four to one (a planet, eerily enough, that resembles New York’s Upper West Side, but with more parking), mild-mannered Ya-El tends the espresso bar at a combination kosher deli-sushi bar-laundromat on Canal Street. At night, however, she dons her Prada jumpsuit and races around Gotham doing battle with her arch-enemies: Peter PanMan, whose evil influence renders 30-something bachelors paralyzed with indecision; PlasticSurgeryMan, a psychopath with body image problems who robs young women of their self-esteem; and Paris Hilton, a psychopath with body image problems who robs young women of their self-esteem.

See the whole list.