February 6, 2006
by Reb Yudel
David Holzel speaks to two high-profile Conservative rabbis, and then offers his own opinion:
Try this experiment. Well, it’s a game, actually. It’s called “Who would belong to a Conservative Synagogue?”
Of the Three Stooges:So what to do? Time for rebranding:
Moe would be Orthodox.
And Larry? Conservative.
Now, the Marx Brothers. Even Zeppo wouldn’t be the Conservative Jew. Gummo would. Gummo.
Great Jewish songwriters of our time: Bob Dylan–Orthodox. Paul Simon–Reform. Neil Diamond–Conservative.
We could follow the Kentucky Fried Chicken paradigm, and reduce Conservative Judaism to its initials, thereby removing information about the product that could discourage consumers. That gives us CJ. Or CeeJay.Go ahead: Read it all. TrackBack
The movement could embrace its inner middle-of-the-roadness with a name like MOR Judaism. "MOR Judaism. It isn’t less Judaism."