1. Shove small pieces of gefilte fish into his/her disk drive—insist it adds 32 megabytes of memory.
2. Set up outgoing voice mail message which allows callers to press 3 to leave a message for your jar of gefilte fish.
3. Throw a room party and serve mixed drinks of vodka and gefilte fish juice (you know, that liquid stuff in the jars).
4. Keep syringes full of horseradish lying around the room—tell roommate they’re in case of an emergency.
5. Replace cologne/perfume with gefilte fish juice—insist it’s a guy/girl magnet.
6. The night before big exam, unplug his/her alarm clock and replace with all-natural gefilte fish clock. (You’ll need two pieces of gefilte fish and some wire.)
7. Punch roommate in mouth repeatedly until you knock out a tooth. That night, leave a piece of gefilte fish under his/her pillow.
8. While roommate is gone, replace his/her prized goldfish with a gefilte fish patty.
9. Insist he/she spruce up boring presentation on Proust by using pieces of gefilte fish in a puppet show.
10. Continuously sing ,“If you be my gefilte fish, I will be your long last pal. I will call you gefiltey...”